The title of this post is the first two lines from a song my Father wrote for his kids. The "Hunting Dog" song is one that was written before I was born and continues to be sung at all major family events. One of my brothers even sang it for a school talent show in the late 60s. It has certainly passed the test of time.
And the words themselves still ring true. I think I can honestly say that no one I know has made me laugh as much as my Dad. Seeing as he and my Mom are the people I've known the longest...it may make sense, but somehow I don't think everyone has the blessing of such a comical parent. It's not that he's comedy material, although occasionally "Steve Martin-esk" comes to mind. Many of his laughs are gotten at his expense, but I think he plans it that way. He likes to come off as clueless, but I think he grabs at the possibility of making someone else laugh and works it!
So the latest in his travels had he and my Mother flying to Florida last week. My sister, Kathi, has a place at The Villlllllages: America's Friendliest Hometown! (Sorry, I can't get myself to just name the place without singing the song) Regardless, this has been such a wonderful blessing that my sister has this place and that she gets them to use it. Sometimes this is by brute force, but it must be done.
The day before they left I talked to them and had the typical pre-departure conversation with my Mother who hadn't started packing, felt guilty they were going, already wanted to change the tickets to return home earlier, etc.
I actually remembered that Monday that they were flying down from Pennsylvania despite my pension for forgetting everyone else's plans in the attempt to keep my own life strait. I had taken my girls out shopping and even mentioned at about 2pm, "Nana and BobBob should be in Florida by now!" We all grimaced with jealousy as it was cold and raining in KS!
Shortly after, I'm in Claire's with a set of ears who just got pierced (not mine) and I got a call from my Dad. "We're still in Harrisburg. The plane broke down and they had to get another part." I start to do the math and realize they must have been at the airport for hours by now. My parents are relatively healthy and still kicking pretty hard, but I still hate to see them put out like that. I think the airline gave them $10 to eat...whoo hoo! Big spenders!
Also, I hate to fly so had I been told the airport had to replace a part on my plane...I would've just gone home taking it as a sign. But, they spent the day in the very exciting Harrisburg International Airport. We are not talking O'Hare folks, I think Hburg has a couple newspaper machines and a little kiosk that sells bad coffee and stale donuts. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but you get the picture.
They sit and read and get lunch and read and get dinner and make a few phone calls. Eventually, they get on the plane about 8 hours later than scheduled.
During this time, my sister who has already been at The Villllllages, for a few days is in the midst of transporting her husband and kids to different locations. I know she had to make at least one airport run to Orlando that day and it's a couple hours from the condo. The original plan was to put her husband on a plane in Orlando and bring her daughter to one of the Disney parks until my parents plane came in.
From what I understand, she was already at Disney when my parents called to tell her they had to wait. There was discussion of getting on an earlier plane and several other possible scenarios of their arrival. Therefore, the phone calls were back and forth...and forth and back.
When my parents finally got on the newly repaired aircraft, they tried to call and let my sister know. She was out of reach. Space Mountain, perhaps? My Father kept trying to call and was getting frustrated. He had quickly befriended the man sitting next to him (surprise). At some point, this gentleman offered to send my sister a text to let her know they were on their way.
"Mary, you should've seen this guy. He was kind of old and it took him forever to type the text!" says my 82 year old father who has never sent a text in his life!
During this discussion of "the text" my father said, "Did you know that you're supposed to turn off your cell phone when the airline takes off and lands? When did that start? I've never heard of such a thing." I told him they always say that and probably he never heard it if the female attendant was cute! I still don't even know if he got that info, from the old man next to him or the schpeal they gave before take off. I'm thinking the guy in seat B.
The flight itself was thankfully uneventful. As they taxi to the gate, Dad was still anxious to actually talk to Kathi. He is busy calling repeatedly and finally gets through. Because the airplane is loud, people are starting to move around, and he can't hear very well, he turns on the speaker.
NOTE: I rarely talk to my parents on the phone (land line or cell) when they do not have the speaker on. My Mother's hearing has been failing (don't get me started on the stupid doctors who can't get her hearing aids right) and they put it on speaker so my Dad can repeat stuff if my Mom misses it.
The speaker is on. He has a full conversation with my sister re: getting her husband on his plane, time in Disney with her daughter, their adventures in trying to get on a flight, the fact that they have landed, the price of tea in China, the workings of the kitchen sink, the beatings of a dead horse, and, no doubt, the reinvention of the wheel. The grace in this is that I know Kathi is not one for chit chat on the phone. Had it been me he was calling, I am sure there would've been additional details regarding children's bowel movements discussed.
As the plane stops at the gate and people start standing up and gathering their carry ons, someone turns around and says "I hope things work out with you meeting your daughter!" Someone else from the other side of the plane nods in agreement. My Dad cluelessly says, "You could hear me talking to my daughter?" Most people in front of him looked back and nodded. So he turns around and looks behind him. He says to the people in the next row with his classic face of innocence, "Could you hear my phone call?" As far as three rows back, there are smiles and nods.
My Mother, who was one row back and didn't hear a thing, is on the other side of the plane wondering why my Father is attracting attention from so many people. (Not that this is unheard of, but still...)
And as they disembark from the plane and walk towards baggage claim, they are met with smiles and well wishers from fellow passengers. "I hope Kathi gets here soon." "Enjoy your vacation!" "Sorry you've had such a rough day." "Tell Kathi we said Hi!"
It's been a week and I still cannot think about this scenario without laughing out loud! I love you DAD!!!
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
There's No Place Like Home
Coming from a girl that lives in Kansas, it may seem a bit strange that I’m talking about Carlisle, PA. But I assure you I am. Moving to the Army War College when I was four, my father requested to stay here to allow his children some stability. We ended up staying on post until my father retired in 1982. I was in 8th grade. Staying was not a sure thing but I begged and pleaded and ultimately was thrilled my parents found a house in town and I was able to graduate from Carlisle High School like my seven siblings. You could say I am the “Anti Army Brat.”
By the time I graduated I was trying to find my way out of here. Onto “bigger and better things” than my small Pennsylvania town could offer. After several years of trying to find myself, I ended up living in Northern VA and working in DC when I was invited to a party by a high school friend. “Do you remember Charlie Carlton from high school? He’ll be there.” I had no recollection of a guy named Charlie who was a freshman when I was a junior, but I went to the party and the rest, as they say, is history.
Despite my intention to never marry a man in the military, that’s exactly what I did. We got married in the church on Carlisle Barracks where I’d made my first communion in the second grade, my confirmation in the eighth grade and where my two sisters got married. It was the wedding every girl dreams of.
Charlie was a Captain in the Army at the time. The marriage has blessed us with five children and more than twice that many moves in the last 14 years. Change is a constant in my kids’ lives, but so is Carlisle. Because Charlie has deployed four times and spent so much time traveling even when he’s not deployed, the kids and I have come to Carlisle for an extended vacation almost every summer since they were born.
My parents’ having a pool in the backyard is certainly a big draw. It’s much easier to walk out the back door than to pack up a truckload of stuff to bring to the public pool wherever we are currently living. And having four extra hands (belonging to my parents) doesn’t hurt either. My kids have benefited greatly from spending so much time with their grandparents and getting to know their cousins that live locally as well as all the others who also come for summer visits. (There are 27 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren to date) Whoever can make it to Carlisle over the 4th of July comes, and we usually have a pretty good crowd. It gets a little crazy in the house; you can typically find kids sleeping on every available couch and floor space. My mother somehow manages to cook dinners for an army and keep enough snacks in the house that the kids are fed on a regular basis. My Dad is the pancake king. He’s so meticulous about his pancake’s being “a decent size,” he would only do one at a time in a large frying pan. He finally broke down recently to buy a large griddle so he can do several at once. This way we are done eating breakfast before lunchtime.
It becomes more apparent each year that family is not the only benefit of spending time in Carlisle. The amount of things I do with the kids while here is truly amazing. Trying to give my parents an occasional quiet moment has me seeking out “good cheap fun” with the kids. Sure, there are several amusement parks around the area but let’s face it, how many people do you know who have the money to take five kids to Hersey for the day more than once or twice a summer? Plus, it’s five against one! Personally, I don’t enjoy those kinds of odds. So we do the things that are closer and much less expensive. If you ask my kids their favorite thing to do in Carlisle, most of them would say “Massey’s.” The ice cream itself is only part of the experience. It’s the walk to Massey’s with cousins or grandparents. Then the atmosphere of sitting in the parking lot watching the cars go by or running into friends or teachers from the past. As I watch the kids walking home, happy, giggling, and chasing fireflies I can’t help but think that these are the things childhood memories are made of.
Since we arrived in Carlisle in mid-June we have done, visited and/or experienced the following: I sent the girls to basketball camp at Shippensburg and drove them each day. (We found a great little ice cream shop in the municipal building). Bosler Library offers a great story time for toddlers, I remember bringing my 11 and 12 year olds to listen to Miss Elaine when they were one and two. This year, the 4 yr old went. We’ve gone as a family several times getting books, movies, and even audio books for the car. We’ve been to Ft. Letort to play and feed the ducks and to the playground behind St. Patrick’s church after mass. My dad and I took the boys to play tennis at Mooreland and they got engaged in a game of imaginary baseball on the field which allowed my Dad and me a rare chance to volley with each other for a few minutes.
That doesn’t even include Summerfair! Although my father was ill and we were not able to participate in the preparation of the Rotary Roast Beef Dinner, we still ate the delicious meal! We had great seats at the parade Friday night and had plenty of ice cream at the social afterwards. I finally got up the nerve to run the Saturday morning 5k. I started running the race with a friend I hadn't seen in years. (Then I watched his back as he got smaller and smaller while I was wheezing for air) The kids got up and were in the yard in their pajamas cheering me on while I ran up Belvedere Street.
Later that day we went to Dickenson. The craft fair is a favorite of the kids. It’s becoming a favorite of mine as they have started bringing their own money! So concerned were my kids that we might miss the Baby Races, that we got front row seats about 45 minutes before they started. The reward for the long hot wait was that we were in the background of a picture of the races that appeared in the Sentinel the next day.
Thanks to FaceBook, I have reconnected with several friends who are still in the area and others who still get back to visit their folks as well. My kids have “friends” that they see once a year while visiting Carlisle. We attended a picnic at a friend’s house where we watched the impressive fireworks show. (Tip: Last year we watched from the Target parking lot which was great for my little ones who aren’t big on loud noises!) I met up with some friends from High School and we had a great adventure hiking at Tumbling Run. A fund raising picnic for Heaven Kelly, a local girl with cancer allowed my kids to explore yet another playground while spending some of their own money to help out another child. Bluegrass on the Grass led to seeing family friends that I wouldn’t have seen had we not attended.
The Carlisle Theatre Company puts on a show each year that leaves my kids begging to return the next night. Sometimes we do, BECAUSE IT’S FREE! I credit last year’s show of “Joseph” for getting my kids to audition and perform in the Music Man Junior at Fort Leavenworth this year. This year’s production of “All Shook Up” has introduced them to the music of Elvis.
While we lived in Germany, Charlie and I had a son who had died in utero. After I delivered, we had him baptised. The Army shipped the body back to Carlisle and my parents were able to bury him at St. Patrick's cemetary with my grandmother. Visiting "Gerard's Rock" is something the kids actually ask to do. We had made many trips to the cemetary over several years before they realized that people were actually buried under the tombstones. (True story) But that never stopped them from wanting to go out there. The statue that had been next to the grave had broken over the last several years. I've been looking for just the right one to replace it. I found it today at The Susquahanna House, which is owned and run by another high school friend! Go figure!
Few things are as much fun as tagging along with my Dad to some of his regular activities. He meets several of his friends for breakfast every Saturday morning at Kimberly’s Café. They call themselves The Breakfast Club. I don’t come close to going every Saturday while I’m home, (retired Army officers like to eat REALLY EARLY in the morning) but I’m happy to say I made it last week. I also attended a Rotary Club meeting last week. A great club doing great things for this town. Tonight, he brought me to the Monday Night Book Club at Bosler Library. Everywhere we go, I’m greeted with a smile! Most of the credit for this goes to my father, I know, for being such a great guy. But I think it speaks volumes for a town to be so welcoming.
We are headed to Mount Saint Mary’s in Emmitsburg, MD tomorrow to connect with a collage friend I haven’t seen in years. We’ll hit the Gettysburg outlets at some point before we leave. I consider that one of the more “educational” segments of our vacation. “Look at the battlefields, kids. Okay, now we can shop!”
Unfortunately, we never made it to any of the Sunday in the Park concerts this year. It never ceases to amaze me how the kids love to sit on the benches in Thornwald Park and listen to any and all types of music. When the young ones get a bit wild, no one seems to mind as I walk them to the back of the crowd. Typically, there is a Carlisle Policeman on duty who is happy to chat with my kids and let them gawk at the cruiser. I also missed an afternoon at Tangles, my favorite beauty shop. I’ve been getting my hair cut there for years. When the owners daughter, who was a friend from high school, took over it made it that much more fun to go and catch up on what I’ve missed in the last year.
I know Carlisle has changed as much as I have since I moved away. I’ve grown up and so has this town. It’s bigger, more diverse, the high school isn’t winning as much as we used to when I was a cheerleader, but still; it’s Carlisle. It’s home. My home. And there truly is, no place like it!
By the time I graduated I was trying to find my way out of here. Onto “bigger and better things” than my small Pennsylvania town could offer. After several years of trying to find myself, I ended up living in Northern VA and working in DC when I was invited to a party by a high school friend. “Do you remember Charlie Carlton from high school? He’ll be there.” I had no recollection of a guy named Charlie who was a freshman when I was a junior, but I went to the party and the rest, as they say, is history.
Despite my intention to never marry a man in the military, that’s exactly what I did. We got married in the church on Carlisle Barracks where I’d made my first communion in the second grade, my confirmation in the eighth grade and where my two sisters got married. It was the wedding every girl dreams of.
Charlie was a Captain in the Army at the time. The marriage has blessed us with five children and more than twice that many moves in the last 14 years. Change is a constant in my kids’ lives, but so is Carlisle. Because Charlie has deployed four times and spent so much time traveling even when he’s not deployed, the kids and I have come to Carlisle for an extended vacation almost every summer since they were born.
My parents’ having a pool in the backyard is certainly a big draw. It’s much easier to walk out the back door than to pack up a truckload of stuff to bring to the public pool wherever we are currently living. And having four extra hands (belonging to my parents) doesn’t hurt either. My kids have benefited greatly from spending so much time with their grandparents and getting to know their cousins that live locally as well as all the others who also come for summer visits. (There are 27 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren to date) Whoever can make it to Carlisle over the 4th of July comes, and we usually have a pretty good crowd. It gets a little crazy in the house; you can typically find kids sleeping on every available couch and floor space. My mother somehow manages to cook dinners for an army and keep enough snacks in the house that the kids are fed on a regular basis. My Dad is the pancake king. He’s so meticulous about his pancake’s being “a decent size,” he would only do one at a time in a large frying pan. He finally broke down recently to buy a large griddle so he can do several at once. This way we are done eating breakfast before lunchtime.
It becomes more apparent each year that family is not the only benefit of spending time in Carlisle. The amount of things I do with the kids while here is truly amazing. Trying to give my parents an occasional quiet moment has me seeking out “good cheap fun” with the kids. Sure, there are several amusement parks around the area but let’s face it, how many people do you know who have the money to take five kids to Hersey for the day more than once or twice a summer? Plus, it’s five against one! Personally, I don’t enjoy those kinds of odds. So we do the things that are closer and much less expensive. If you ask my kids their favorite thing to do in Carlisle, most of them would say “Massey’s.” The ice cream itself is only part of the experience. It’s the walk to Massey’s with cousins or grandparents. Then the atmosphere of sitting in the parking lot watching the cars go by or running into friends or teachers from the past. As I watch the kids walking home, happy, giggling, and chasing fireflies I can’t help but think that these are the things childhood memories are made of.
Since we arrived in Carlisle in mid-June we have done, visited and/or experienced the following: I sent the girls to basketball camp at Shippensburg and drove them each day. (We found a great little ice cream shop in the municipal building). Bosler Library offers a great story time for toddlers, I remember bringing my 11 and 12 year olds to listen to Miss Elaine when they were one and two. This year, the 4 yr old went. We’ve gone as a family several times getting books, movies, and even audio books for the car. We’ve been to Ft. Letort to play and feed the ducks and to the playground behind St. Patrick’s church after mass. My dad and I took the boys to play tennis at Mooreland and they got engaged in a game of imaginary baseball on the field which allowed my Dad and me a rare chance to volley with each other for a few minutes.
That doesn’t even include Summerfair! Although my father was ill and we were not able to participate in the preparation of the Rotary Roast Beef Dinner, we still ate the delicious meal! We had great seats at the parade Friday night and had plenty of ice cream at the social afterwards. I finally got up the nerve to run the Saturday morning 5k. I started running the race with a friend I hadn't seen in years. (Then I watched his back as he got smaller and smaller while I was wheezing for air) The kids got up and were in the yard in their pajamas cheering me on while I ran up Belvedere Street.
Later that day we went to Dickenson. The craft fair is a favorite of the kids. It’s becoming a favorite of mine as they have started bringing their own money! So concerned were my kids that we might miss the Baby Races, that we got front row seats about 45 minutes before they started. The reward for the long hot wait was that we were in the background of a picture of the races that appeared in the Sentinel the next day.
Thanks to FaceBook, I have reconnected with several friends who are still in the area and others who still get back to visit their folks as well. My kids have “friends” that they see once a year while visiting Carlisle. We attended a picnic at a friend’s house where we watched the impressive fireworks show. (Tip: Last year we watched from the Target parking lot which was great for my little ones who aren’t big on loud noises!) I met up with some friends from High School and we had a great adventure hiking at Tumbling Run. A fund raising picnic for Heaven Kelly, a local girl with cancer allowed my kids to explore yet another playground while spending some of their own money to help out another child. Bluegrass on the Grass led to seeing family friends that I wouldn’t have seen had we not attended.
The Carlisle Theatre Company puts on a show each year that leaves my kids begging to return the next night. Sometimes we do, BECAUSE IT’S FREE! I credit last year’s show of “Joseph” for getting my kids to audition and perform in the Music Man Junior at Fort Leavenworth this year. This year’s production of “All Shook Up” has introduced them to the music of Elvis.
While we lived in Germany, Charlie and I had a son who had died in utero. After I delivered, we had him baptised. The Army shipped the body back to Carlisle and my parents were able to bury him at St. Patrick's cemetary with my grandmother. Visiting "Gerard's Rock" is something the kids actually ask to do. We had made many trips to the cemetary over several years before they realized that people were actually buried under the tombstones. (True story) But that never stopped them from wanting to go out there. The statue that had been next to the grave had broken over the last several years. I've been looking for just the right one to replace it. I found it today at The Susquahanna House, which is owned and run by another high school friend! Go figure!
Few things are as much fun as tagging along with my Dad to some of his regular activities. He meets several of his friends for breakfast every Saturday morning at Kimberly’s Café. They call themselves The Breakfast Club. I don’t come close to going every Saturday while I’m home, (retired Army officers like to eat REALLY EARLY in the morning) but I’m happy to say I made it last week. I also attended a Rotary Club meeting last week. A great club doing great things for this town. Tonight, he brought me to the Monday Night Book Club at Bosler Library. Everywhere we go, I’m greeted with a smile! Most of the credit for this goes to my father, I know, for being such a great guy. But I think it speaks volumes for a town to be so welcoming.
We are headed to Mount Saint Mary’s in Emmitsburg, MD tomorrow to connect with a collage friend I haven’t seen in years. We’ll hit the Gettysburg outlets at some point before we leave. I consider that one of the more “educational” segments of our vacation. “Look at the battlefields, kids. Okay, now we can shop!”
Unfortunately, we never made it to any of the Sunday in the Park concerts this year. It never ceases to amaze me how the kids love to sit on the benches in Thornwald Park and listen to any and all types of music. When the young ones get a bit wild, no one seems to mind as I walk them to the back of the crowd. Typically, there is a Carlisle Policeman on duty who is happy to chat with my kids and let them gawk at the cruiser. I also missed an afternoon at Tangles, my favorite beauty shop. I’ve been getting my hair cut there for years. When the owners daughter, who was a friend from high school, took over it made it that much more fun to go and catch up on what I’ve missed in the last year.
I know Carlisle has changed as much as I have since I moved away. I’ve grown up and so has this town. It’s bigger, more diverse, the high school isn’t winning as much as we used to when I was a cheerleader, but still; it’s Carlisle. It’s home. My home. And there truly is, no place like it!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The Order of Things
Forward:
So, in the last post, I decided I was going to write a bit every night. And that, of course, was 4 days ago. Maybe if I count in dog years, my postings will seem closer together. Or would that be further apart? Now I've completely confused my simple brain.
As always, I have an excuse. Well, not a direct excuse for not writing, but an excuse for being paralyzed into not getting anything done the other day. This excuse covers why Josie had to go to school in "not quite dry" pants this morning fresh from the dryer, why Charlie missed the bus, why Lyra wasn't talking to me on the way to the doctor today, why I was late for the appointment, and pretty much anything else that's gone awry in the last few days.
I call it a blanket excuse. I figure, why waste time coming up with different excuses for each of the things I screw up when I can use one big excuse for everything? Works for me!
Prologue:
Wednesday morning the kids were back to school for the second day. I was reminded that morning what I seem to have to re-learn every September and after any long break. The first day back is not the hardest day to wake the kids, in fact, it's the easiest day of that first week. As the week progresses it gets increasingly difficult to coax, schlepp, and/or extract the kids from their nice toasty cocoons. (I do think it's worse in the winter, since it's freezing and so dark out. Given the option, I'd stay in bed too!)
For the first time in weeks they not only are they forced to rise before light and change out of their pajamas, (The Horror!!!!) but they must set foot outside the house and get on that dreaded mode of public transportation...the bus! From there, it only gets worse as they are driven to prison, I mean school. A place where there is no Wii, no Disney Channel, no calling and texting friends with the new cell phone you got for Christmas. (Forget the fact that you are now in close enough proximity to speak to your friends, because it just isn't the same.)
Happily, I returned from the bus stop that morning (Wed) and tried to go back to sleep. Sawyer, who, due to a curse put upon me at birth, does not return to school until next week, was not having it! He wanted me to play Wii Fit Plus. "It not Wii Fit Momma, it Wii Fit PLUS! Now kindly refer to your new piece of entertainment equipment in the correct fashion you pathetic, foolish woman." Did I mention that Sawyer is Stewie Griffin in human form?
Fine. I go up with him to play Wii Fit PLUS. I'd been avoiding making a Mii for my Christmas present, b/c I wanted to be sure I could do the whole "body test" and see what age the Wii thought I might be. It told Tali when she was 11 that she was presenting like a 65 year old. I've heard many friends tell me they were appalled at the machines' assessment of them. I see no point of doing such things with an audience. Sawyer, however, was determined to have me log in as the girls forced him the night before to remove his Mii dog and Mii cat off the game so there'd be room for mine. (By the way, Mii animals? Really?) So after he jumps on my head enough times to force me to get vertical, we do the test. I've decided that bragging is completely under-rated because the Wii PUT ME AT MY OWN AGE AND TOLD ME I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO GET MY BMI DOWN TO 22 - I WAS AT 22.41 CHECK ME OUT BABY!!!!!!
So, after the excitement of dodging wrecker balls, walking tightrope, and heading soccer balls (& avoiding panda heads), we leave to pick up Josie from school for a Dr. appt. For the first time in the 4 1/2 years of his life, Sawyer decides he wants to dress himself. I'm all for Independence, just not at 10:55 am when I need to get Josie from school and deliver her to the Dr's by 11:15am. Lord help me. So we finally get out of the house. Sawyer looks like a refugee w/ black dress cords and an old green Nike t-shirt. I hope I run into ALL my friends and more importantly, each and every one of my enemies!!!
I won't even go into the issue of arriving at the front desk to realize I didn't have my purse and having to go back down to the parking lot where we had spent 10 minutes looking for a spot, only to find I'd left it at the house which thankfully is only two streets away. So I drove home, got the purse, drove back and by the grace of God found a parking spot in less then 2 minutes. I also won't tell you that I left Josie in the waiting room w/ Sawyer as bringing them would've added about 20 extra minutes to the exercise. As it was, I did it in less than 12. There's also no need to tell you that despite the fact that I told the woman at the front desk that I had to get my purse and that we were there on time, I had to grovel to have Josie seen as going to get my purse caused me to be more than 5 minutes late and therefore should be oh so thankful that they lowered themselves to see us. (Patients are such a waste of a Doctors time, don't you think?) Actually, they were pretty nice about it. I've certainly had worse.
Now that I haven't bored you with too many details. I'll tell you that I took Josie back to school and went to see my friend who so rudely went to her in-laws for Christmas break leaving me here alone with no one to call when I needed to rant. On the way to said friends' house, I called the therapist that was supposed to start seeing Sawyer in September. It's way too long and complicated to go into (you know how I like to make a long story short) but between red tape and extenuating circumstances, we had only seen her a handful of times and hadn't seen her at all since October. I can be frustrated as hell, but it really doesn't mean a thing. What matters is, my child, who's on the autistic spectrum is not getting the therapy he so desperately needs. He's miserable at school, the teachers are not supportive, it's a crappy situation and I needed this therapist to come through...YESTERDAY! I admit, I called at a moment of desperation and uncharacteristically, was a bit pushy. I was subtly saying that if we didn't see her this week, we may have to look into finding someone else. Of course I totally did not want to do that. The time already invested was way beyond what I had the energy to think about.
I parked my butt on the big comfy chair in my friends bedroom and we caught up on all the horrible things our kids did over the holidays. She definitely won the round as she had in-law stories. (and they were good ones) I had been smart enough to avoid any interaction with family over the break.
As I was trying out my first chocolate chip pop tart (not bad, but smores still rank #1) my phone rang and it was the therapist. She told me she'd left me a few messages (none of which I'd gotten) and she was on her way right now, she'd be there in about 20 minutes.
I gathered an annoyed Sawyer and we went home. Here is where my story begins:
Chapter One:
I'm standing in the kitchen. I have several (at least 6) loads of laundry upstairs waiting to be washed. I think to myself, I have about 10 minutes, what can I get done?
I debate on putting in a load of laundry. I peek into the laundry room to asses the situation. (No! The guy from Jersey Shore does not hang out in my laundry room, duh!)
And here's where I get paralysed.
I can't put in a load of laundry b/c there's a load already in the washer.
I can't move the load from the washer to the dryer b/c there is a load in there.
I can't take the load out of the dryer b/c I don't have a laundry basket down here.
I can't bring the laundry basket downstairs without folding the laundry that is currently in it.
I can't fold the laundry that's currently in it, b/c I didn't make my bed this morning.
I can't chance going upstairs to make my bed, b/c I can't hear the doorbell when I'm on the second floor.
Conclusion:
You can see my dilemma and how my hands were tied. Therefore, my solution was to do nothing. Wait, I take that back, I did do something. I made myself a sandwich and it was quite tasty indeed!
So, in the last post, I decided I was going to write a bit every night. And that, of course, was 4 days ago. Maybe if I count in dog years, my postings will seem closer together. Or would that be further apart? Now I've completely confused my simple brain.
As always, I have an excuse. Well, not a direct excuse for not writing, but an excuse for being paralyzed into not getting anything done the other day. This excuse covers why Josie had to go to school in "not quite dry" pants this morning fresh from the dryer, why Charlie missed the bus, why Lyra wasn't talking to me on the way to the doctor today, why I was late for the appointment, and pretty much anything else that's gone awry in the last few days.
I call it a blanket excuse. I figure, why waste time coming up with different excuses for each of the things I screw up when I can use one big excuse for everything? Works for me!
Prologue:
Wednesday morning the kids were back to school for the second day. I was reminded that morning what I seem to have to re-learn every September and after any long break. The first day back is not the hardest day to wake the kids, in fact, it's the easiest day of that first week. As the week progresses it gets increasingly difficult to coax, schlepp, and/or extract the kids from their nice toasty cocoons. (I do think it's worse in the winter, since it's freezing and so dark out. Given the option, I'd stay in bed too!)
For the first time in weeks they not only are they forced to rise before light and change out of their pajamas, (The Horror!!!!) but they must set foot outside the house and get on that dreaded mode of public transportation...the bus! From there, it only gets worse as they are driven to prison, I mean school. A place where there is no Wii, no Disney Channel, no calling and texting friends with the new cell phone you got for Christmas. (Forget the fact that you are now in close enough proximity to speak to your friends, because it just isn't the same.)
Happily, I returned from the bus stop that morning (Wed) and tried to go back to sleep. Sawyer, who, due to a curse put upon me at birth, does not return to school until next week, was not having it! He wanted me to play Wii Fit Plus. "It not Wii Fit Momma, it Wii Fit PLUS! Now kindly refer to your new piece of entertainment equipment in the correct fashion you pathetic, foolish woman." Did I mention that Sawyer is Stewie Griffin in human form?
Fine. I go up with him to play Wii Fit PLUS. I'd been avoiding making a Mii for my Christmas present, b/c I wanted to be sure I could do the whole "body test" and see what age the Wii thought I might be. It told Tali when she was 11 that she was presenting like a 65 year old. I've heard many friends tell me they were appalled at the machines' assessment of them. I see no point of doing such things with an audience. Sawyer, however, was determined to have me log in as the girls forced him the night before to remove his Mii dog and Mii cat off the game so there'd be room for mine. (By the way, Mii animals? Really?) So after he jumps on my head enough times to force me to get vertical, we do the test. I've decided that bragging is completely under-rated because the Wii PUT ME AT MY OWN AGE AND TOLD ME I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT, BUT IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO GET MY BMI DOWN TO 22 - I WAS AT 22.41 CHECK ME OUT BABY!!!!!!
So, after the excitement of dodging wrecker balls, walking tightrope, and heading soccer balls (& avoiding panda heads), we leave to pick up Josie from school for a Dr. appt. For the first time in the 4 1/2 years of his life, Sawyer decides he wants to dress himself. I'm all for Independence, just not at 10:55 am when I need to get Josie from school and deliver her to the Dr's by 11:15am. Lord help me. So we finally get out of the house. Sawyer looks like a refugee w/ black dress cords and an old green Nike t-shirt. I hope I run into ALL my friends and more importantly, each and every one of my enemies!!!
I won't even go into the issue of arriving at the front desk to realize I didn't have my purse and having to go back down to the parking lot where we had spent 10 minutes looking for a spot, only to find I'd left it at the house which thankfully is only two streets away. So I drove home, got the purse, drove back and by the grace of God found a parking spot in less then 2 minutes. I also won't tell you that I left Josie in the waiting room w/ Sawyer as bringing them would've added about 20 extra minutes to the exercise. As it was, I did it in less than 12. There's also no need to tell you that despite the fact that I told the woman at the front desk that I had to get my purse and that we were there on time, I had to grovel to have Josie seen as going to get my purse caused me to be more than 5 minutes late and therefore should be oh so thankful that they lowered themselves to see us. (Patients are such a waste of a Doctors time, don't you think?) Actually, they were pretty nice about it. I've certainly had worse.
Now that I haven't bored you with too many details. I'll tell you that I took Josie back to school and went to see my friend who so rudely went to her in-laws for Christmas break leaving me here alone with no one to call when I needed to rant. On the way to said friends' house, I called the therapist that was supposed to start seeing Sawyer in September. It's way too long and complicated to go into (you know how I like to make a long story short) but between red tape and extenuating circumstances, we had only seen her a handful of times and hadn't seen her at all since October. I can be frustrated as hell, but it really doesn't mean a thing. What matters is, my child, who's on the autistic spectrum is not getting the therapy he so desperately needs. He's miserable at school, the teachers are not supportive, it's a crappy situation and I needed this therapist to come through...YESTERDAY! I admit, I called at a moment of desperation and uncharacteristically, was a bit pushy. I was subtly saying that if we didn't see her this week, we may have to look into finding someone else. Of course I totally did not want to do that. The time already invested was way beyond what I had the energy to think about.
I parked my butt on the big comfy chair in my friends bedroom and we caught up on all the horrible things our kids did over the holidays. She definitely won the round as she had in-law stories. (and they were good ones) I had been smart enough to avoid any interaction with family over the break.
As I was trying out my first chocolate chip pop tart (not bad, but smores still rank #1) my phone rang and it was the therapist. She told me she'd left me a few messages (none of which I'd gotten) and she was on her way right now, she'd be there in about 20 minutes.
I gathered an annoyed Sawyer and we went home. Here is where my story begins:
Chapter One:
I'm standing in the kitchen. I have several (at least 6) loads of laundry upstairs waiting to be washed. I think to myself, I have about 10 minutes, what can I get done?
I debate on putting in a load of laundry. I peek into the laundry room to asses the situation. (No! The guy from Jersey Shore does not hang out in my laundry room, duh!)
And here's where I get paralysed.
I can't put in a load of laundry b/c there's a load already in the washer.
I can't move the load from the washer to the dryer b/c there is a load in there.
I can't take the load out of the dryer b/c I don't have a laundry basket down here.
I can't bring the laundry basket downstairs without folding the laundry that is currently in it.
I can't fold the laundry that's currently in it, b/c I didn't make my bed this morning.
I can't chance going upstairs to make my bed, b/c I can't hear the doorbell when I'm on the second floor.
Conclusion:
You can see my dilemma and how my hands were tied. Therefore, my solution was to do nothing. Wait, I take that back, I did do something. I made myself a sandwich and it was quite tasty indeed!
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