Syria, the Dime, and the Southland

Amazingly, both boys were bathed tonight. I was starting to worry that I would be getting a note home from school asking why they smell so bad. One hundred degree weather in Kansas in September can result in many many negative residual issues.


Regardless, they were both in my bed yet they were clean so it was definitely a decent night. About the time that Charlie remembered that he had homework, I remembered that the President was speaking about Syria tonight. Oooops all the way around.

I turned on Fox News and there was a panel of people talking about the speech. One of those on the panel was Major General Robert (Bob) Scales. I was trying to pay attention to what was being said while ignoring the raucous wrestling match taking place next to me on the Tempurpedic. In an attempt to get them to settle down and shut their traps I started a conversation that went something like this:

Mary: See that guy?

Sawyer, Charlie & Lyra: Yes.

M: When I was Josie’s age, I was playing in the creek behind his house. I cut my foot and my friends brought me to his back door. He drove me to the hospital in his Volvo and I got blood all over his car and I had to get stitches. It was the only time I got stitches.

Kids: Silence for a beat or two

L: Really? Was he mad?

M: No, he was super nice. But later Nana asked if I had made a mess and his wife said they were still trying to get the blood stain out of the white carpet.

L: NO WAY!

M: WAY!

Lyra leaves the room to inform her sisters that I ruined a famous person’s rug.

C: Did Nana and BobBob know him?

M: Yes.

C: Because you were so bad?

M: NO! (Where does he get these ideas?)  They knew him because BobBob worked with him.

Charlie started working on his homework. Meanwhile, Sawyer had been quietly absorbing the conversation. Then he was ready for more information.

S: He is the President?

M: No, he’s a General.

S: He is the President who is on the dime?

M: No, he was a General.

C: What are you before you are a General?

M: A Colonel.

S: He looks like (the President on the dime). Was he ever the President?

M: No.

C: Did Dad used to be a Colonel?

M: No, he’s a Lieutenant Colonel.

C: But did he USED to be a Colonel?

M: No. First you’re a Lieutenant Colonel, then a Colonel.

S: Is there only one President?

M: Well, yes, one at a time. But some of the men who used to be President are still alive.

C: So what comes before Lieutenant Colonel?

M: Do your homework!

Surprised by Sawyer's questions, I decided to see exactly how much he knew.

M: Do you know who the President is?

S: Yes. Alabama.

M:  What?

S (Not quite as sure): Bama?

M: Um, Obama.

S (unphased): That wasn’t the only time you got stitches.

M: ?

S: When the doctors got the babies out of your belly you got stitches.

M: You are absolutely right Sauce.

Sawyer gives a smile. He has been successful in frying my brain!

Epiloge:  It frightens me to think that rockin’ out to Lynard Skynard may now conjure up the image of BHO!