Dear Frog~

Dear Frog. Soft, green, cuddly Frog. You don't fool me. I've seen your kind before. You slipped into Sawyer's crib with a big blue ribbon when he was first born. As he lay motionless and swadled, you snuggled up to him with your big eyes and fluffy legs. Only able to flounder, he was a captive audience, and you filled his brand new brain with lies and empty promises of your life together.

By the time he could crawl, you two were inseparable. And even at 3, you rarely leave his side and not a night goes by that he doesn't drool on you.

Then comfortable in his need for you, in just the right moment, you morph from a simple frog to a cheeky monkey and find a quiet, out of the way spot to hide.

You amuse yourself by doing this on nights which I may actually go to bed early. Although I should stay up preparing the Box Tops Submission that must be postmarked tomorrow, I had decided to go to bed and do it in the morning. Remarkably, the kids were all snoring by 9pm. The rareness of this is not lost on you.

As I transported Sawyer into his bed from mine, I noticed that you were missing. I continued to move through my bedtime routine which includes more household tasks than most men accomplish in a week. The table was wiped down, the dishwasher started, the dryer emptied and that load carried upstairs, the wet load put into the dryer, and the reds loaded in the washer so Josie could have the pants she needed in the morning. (Note to self: Josie needs more pants)

All the while I looked for you, scanning rooms as I walked. Looking under the pillows as I folded the blankets on the couches. Then under the couches as I double checked for sippy cups full of milk curdling to yogurt. I filed through all the bed rooms for the final round of good night kisses and peeked under beds and covers double checking for dirty clothes and random stuffed frogs that may have gotten shoved down under.

The house became a mansion as I made repeated circles through the rooms trying to think where you might be. Cabinets, closets and even backpacks were subjected to the search. (Though I must admit, the backpack search turned up a paper I was supposed to sign and return to school tomorrow) You, however, were nowhere to be found.

Cursing your dirty, flimsy body I planned your demise. I decided to tell Sawyer what a scoundral you really are. How you are but a shell of the thick, fluffy frog you once were. How as a newborn he had lived a very full life without you!

But then, I realized as I seached the playroom for the 47th time, that I would not cause Sawyer any more heartache than you already had. I love him too much for that.

And there you were; under the Doctor's Kit, beneath the SpongeBob Box O' Games, in the doll trunk, dressed in Lyra's shirt, face to face with Patty Go Potty. You scumbag!

I brought you to Sawyer and tucked you in next to him. Just your stench alone seemed to relax his face muscles from his typical grumpy old man scowl into an annoyed child expression (which is much softer and sweeter).

This round is yours, but don't think for one minute you have won. You are not irreplaceable you flattened anphibian. There could be another Frog. A greener, thicker stuffed, new car smelling Frog. There's a place I can go. A place full of every possible material item any parent could need. A place where frogs like you are a dime a dozen...a place called eBay.

So heed this warning and stay close my friend. Stay very close...especially at bedtime!!!!