Angels in the infield

This is just another one of the many "feel good" stories that I've seen going around email and Facebook now that technology allows us to share EVERYTHING!

I know I brag on Sawyer, probably too much, but every good experience for him is the equivalent to every great experience other kids have.  Knowing that things are harder for him, makes any success that much sweeter.

I was reminded again yesterday of the fact that there are good people out there who do good things just because.  Even the act I'm going to tell you about was not a big deal and the person probably has no idea that I would even consider writing it down, but it was huge.  For Sawyer and for me...and that is what counts!

T-ball has been a great experience for Sawyer this spring.  It's shown Charlie and I (& Sawyer too, I think) how much he has grown and progressed this year.  In the fall, Sawyer played soccer.  It was the first "team sport" he had every played and he was excited.  After all the times he's been dragged to watch his siblings play a sport, he was ready to do it himself. 

The first few practices were tough.  He doesn't like to try something unless he's seen other people do it a few times.  There's a good bit of anxiety going on with him too, so he's very self conscious.  Tantrums occur.

For example:
He has to go first in a drill = tantrum
He has to go last in a drill = tantrum
He's not sure what he's supposed to be doing = tantrum
He doesn't feel like he's doing something correctly = tantrum
Someone is too close to him = tantrum
Someone else bumps into him = tantrum
Someone else is breathing = you get the idea.

He also likes to show displeasure by falling to the ground.  He does this in school too.  One minute he'll be sitting there writing, and the next he is the Tower of Pisa, and finally, he's sprawled out on the floor.  Let's just say he spent the better part of the soccer season spread eagle on the field.  Sometimes facing the sky, sometimes the grass. 

Because we know Sawyer and because he does need the extra help, Charlie and I go to every practice and every game.  So much so, that Charlie ended up being a sort of assistant soccer coach so that he could be right there on the field with Sauce. 

The behaviors draw attention, I won't lie.  Sadly, I was running in 20 different directions during soccer season, so I would bring him to practice and then wait for Charlie to arrive strait from work so I could start taxiing the other 4 kids to where they needed to go.  I did not have the chance to get to know the parents and so they had no idea what was up with Sawyer.

I could see it when we he cried and whenever Sawyer fell over.  The silent wondering of "What is up with that kid?"  Of course, giving lots of attention to these behaviors only exacerbates them and so we try, as parents, to make light of them. Charlie can be much tougher than me and so Sawyer actually responds to him better.  But again, can you imagine watching a game of 5 & 6 year olds and when one falls over crying his dad runs by and says  "Get up Sawyer, you're missing the game." and then continues to run down the field.  It took everything I had not to go on the field, pick him up and cuddle him, but that's not what he needed.

Winter arrived and with it, basketball season.  The falling down improved a bit.  I'm sure it had something to do with the gym floor being much harder than the grass on the field, but whatever works!  He is tiny.  So it's hard for him to throw the ball up to the basket.  There were tantrums there too, but they were less than soccer.  Both times we were blessed with wonderful coaches that worked amazingly well with him...and with us.  They both happened to be women, which I was happy about.  Mom's just have that nurturing thing built in.

Spring brought T-ball season.  It was what Sawyer had REALLY been waiting for all year.  Baseball is his sport, but please don't refer to it as baseball because it's T-ball and Autism brings with it, the whole literal language piece that only seems to affect Sawyer, however, only occasionally.  Therefore, I forget that it matters...and catch hell for it when I do!

One of the characteristics of Autism is "rules."  To say that Sawyer is big on rules is like saying that middle school boys slightly enjoy potty humor.  Let's face it, it's what they live for!  Because he loves rules and because he loves baseball, he can tell you just about every rule in the sport.  He is well beyond the knowledge most boys his age have of the regulations.   Actually, he's beyond many boys twice his age.  T-ball has been going well.  The temper tantrums have been fewer and further between and the moments of spread eagle are almost completely gone.

The challenge of taking a child who understands the sport and then having him play in a "learning league" is that the new rules don't always make sense! 

For example:

There is no empire (or umpire if you don't live in a world where everything relates to Star Wars).  The coaches are on the field calling the outs, etc.

Each inning allows the entire team to go through the batting lineup.  Everyone bats.  Here was the first major problem for Sawyer.  The first game, he was playing second base.  He made 3 outs in a row on his own and began to run to the side.  The coach had to call him back on the field and explain that they give everyone a chance to bat.  This blew his mind!  "Why?" "Because then everyone gets to bat."  "That's not the rules."  "Well, we let everyone have a turn at batting."  "Why?"  And so it went.

Another major difference is that each player gets 5 (usually more) trys to hit the ball.  Seeing that is it stationary on a tee, you would think this could not be an issue.  Well, it is.  "He missed 3 times, he's out."  "We're letting him keep trying."  "Why? He's out."  "Everyone's learning." "But 3 strikes is an out."  And so that went.

The final straw was when, after the first few games, it became apparent that the kids who batted last were getting screwed.  They could have a perfectly good hit, get to first or second and then the inning was called and they were "out by default."  They never got to finish running the bases.  It did stink for my friend's son who continually got onto base and then had to walk off the field by no fault of his own.  The coaches decided that they would switch up batting orders during the game so the same kid was not always last.  Also, they would let the last kid just keep running the bases even if he was tagged out.  So they could just run for the fun of it.  I thought this was a great solution. 

The only time we had a problem with this rule was a few weeks ago when Sawyer was playing 3rd base.  The bases were loaded and the batter hit strait to Sauce who tagged 3rd base and thought the play was over.  But then, the kids kept running.  When he realized the next kid was running toward 3rd, he tagged the base again, but no one stopped.  I could see the frustration and confusion in his face.  When the batter came towards 3rd, Sawyer again stomped on the base and then tagged the runner before he got to 3rd.  When the runner didn't stop and was headed home, Sawyer took off towards home plate, got there before the runner and with his foot on the plate tagged him again!  I'd call that a quadruple play!  Sawyer would just call that "not fair."

So, here we were yesterday, the 2nd to last game and Sawyer has been doing really well.  I cringed when I heard he was last in the lineup, but I thought maybe it would be a good thing, he'd get all the way around the bases.  That's got to be good, right?  Ummm, no!  So, he gets up to bat and hits a line drive between the first and second basemen.  He has no problem getting to first in plenty of time, but then, everyone is telling him to run.  He's watching as the right fielder is running toward the baseline.  I could see him wondering why they wanted him to run and how it didn't make sense to him.  But the first base coach is yelling "Run, Sawyer, Run!"  And so there he is, forced to run strait at the kid who is holding the ball and ready to tag him. Was there really any good way for this to end?  Apparently not!

Sawyer runs, immediately gets tagged and starts to lose it.  People are yelling at him to keep running but that makes no sense to him.  In fact, nothing makes sense at this point.  So he runs toward 2nd, but instead runs strait out to center field screaming.  He pulls off his batting helmet and throws it about 10 feet and then goes down for the count!  It was so funny and sad and hilarious and heartbreaking all at the same time.  Poor little guy!  My heart ached for him as I watched the coach run out to center field and pick him up and carry him to the dugout.  It was all I could do to not run out, but it's better for the coach to do it so I held myself back.

When he was off the field I dried his tears and he said "Why did they want me to get out?"  He couldn't wrap his head around running the bases for fun.  My sweet boy!

And now: the conclusion of the story and why my faith in humanity is restored and re-energized every time someone is good to my little Sauce.

The batting order only changes after TWO at bats, so Sawyer had to go last again.  Before he went up, I did my best to try to explain to him the idea of continuing to run even if he gets out.  He was annoyed at this, but seemed to get it.  I didn't even film his at bat because I was so worried about what would happen.  I wish now I did.

He hit the ball, again into the outfield between 1st and 2nd.  He got to 1st with plenty of time while the kids dropped the ball a few times and finally sent it to third base.  It was over thrown and Sawyer ran on to 2nd.  The 3rd basemen got control of it and threw it home.  At this point all the other runners had gotten home safely.  Sawyer kept running like he was told to but as he rounded 3rd it was like the world stopped as everyone realized what was going to happen.  He was headed to home and the catcher was standing in front of the plate with the ball.  No way! Getting out at home was only gonna make it worse.  I held my breath as I watched Sawyer realize what was gonna happen.  He started to run back to 3rd, but everyone was telling him to keep running home.

All of a sudden the other team's coach went up to the catcher and said "Throw it to second base, hurry!"  The catcher being clueless did just that.  Sawyer then had a clear path and made it safely home.  Parents from both teams cheered and I thought I was going to cry.  It was amazing.  The grin on Sawyer's face was priceless!

I am thankful that God has blessed us with another wonderful coach this season.  Sawyer was so excited to have a "man coach."  He is just as patient as the other coaches we had this year and we were lucky to have him.  The icing on the cake was that the other teams coach showed the compassion and quick thinking that he did.

God Bless that coach for doing such a small thing to make such a big impact on a kid. I have no idea if he knew that Sawyer has Autism or not. He was just helping a kid feel successful and it made all the difference in the world! 


NOTE:  I have come to realize in the last few years that I am one of those parents who is in the stands feeling the whole game in my stomach.  I am competitive and I want my kids to win, but am always well within the good sportsmanship realm.  I just care a lot!  Additionally, I am not a fan of giving everyone a trophy - it's part of what's wrong with kids today.  This whole sense of entitlement thing.  I too felt Sawyer's frustration with not really "following the rules," but I continue to tell myself that this is a learning league and the real rules will apply soon enough. 

I guess I just want to be very clear that if Sawyer was not the last batter and was tagged out in a "regular play" that would be fine with me.  I just have trouble sending a kid into the line of fire so to speak.  Especially a kid that "gets it" the way he does.  Yesterday I was lucky enough to see someone else treat my boy well and for that I am thankful!