Lost not Found...

Now I lay me down to sleep...amid the crumbs from the French Toast Sticks Sawyer was eating in my bed this morning. He continues to eat only cold food and actually prefers some things frozen. I'd like to attribute that to his love for me, knowing that taking the time to put said French Toast Sticks in the microwave could easily waste 30 or 40 seconds of my life. However, I'm sure it's better described as one of his "quirks."

Sawyer's "quirks" would fill more than a few pages and at the moment, I don't have that kind of time.

What I wanted to write about is how clueless my other kids are.

Unfortunately, the sheet on which I scribbled several of their answers to my questions is no longer on my nightstand where I put it. I know it was there at one point b/c I put it there. I know I put it there b/c I had to carry it up the stairs to do so. I know I carried it up the stairs b/c we have a lot of stairs and I actually deliberated on doing it right away or waiting until later. I know I did it right away b/c I knew if I waited until later, I would lose it. AND I did not want to lose it!!!

As frustrating as all that is, what's even more annoying is that I have a brain cloud regarding the paper. If you don't know what a brain cloud is, and why would you as I just made it up this minute, here's the best way I can think to describe it: You know when your really hungover and after you've been awake for awhile you get this foggy memory in your brain of something that might have happened the night before? You can feel it and almost see it, but you couldn't really know for sure that it did in fact happen until, with some luck, the fog clears. Of course there are times the fog doesn't clear and you are left with only a few frames in the movie segment of your life that was taped the night before.

If you were with friends, they can, at times, fill in some of the blanks until you can see more of the whole picture. And then there are those times that you were alone, or with people you can't call (for any number of reasons) and ask what happened the night before. I still have a brain cloud about a Simon & Garfunkel song from my senior year of college...but we'll save that for another day.

Anyway, back to the paper that I cannot find. I have this vague recolection that sometime either last night or this morning...it all mixes together...something happened to that paper. I can only say I remember thinking "I don't want to forget to get that paper back." Why would I think that? Why indeed.

I have 5 kids, a deployed husband, and in addition to all the fun that brings, I've had extenuating circumstances. One of which is that my children don't sleep through the night. (Don't even think about going there...it's not what we are talking about.) So I'm exhausted, overworked, underpaid, etc., etc. Last night at 8 pm I gave up. I popped a Tylenol PM and told the kids that if the house catches fire to save themselves.

We did not have to get up early this morning and in fact if I didn't have children annoying the crap out of me, I could've stayed asleep until 8. BUT by 6:30, I had children driving me to the brink of insanity. Sleep is something I don't give up on easily. I have spent many an hour laying in bed trying deprtely to ignore the WWF match going on around and on top of me. (My king size bed is appartently the only adiquate place in this humongous house to host Saturday morning wrestlemania.) I have mastered the technique of opening my eyes just wide enough while grunting that the children think I am conversing with them. This is premature payback for all the conversations I'll be trying to have with them as teenagers. The kids can fight, talk, eat and even perform technical gymnastics manuvors on my bed and i will still stubbornly lay there thinking "if I don't move, maybe they'll go looking for me somewhere else in the house."

So there I was, trying to suck the last few minutes of sleep into my brain. There was some semblance of a conversation with one of the kids, I think it was Lyra. She needed to spell something I think. In an attempt to get her to leave me alone I must've scribbled whatever it was that she needed on "THE" piece of paper. I am fairly certain that in my semi-consious state, I told her I wanted the paper back. And I would bet money that she sweetly replied, "Yes Momma, as soon as I'm done." LIAR!!!

I have now searched the entire humongous house for "THE" piece of paper. I have to make sure I captilize "THE" because if I don't someone may perhaps not realize that I am looking for only ONE particular piece that is of utmost importance to me. The average citizan might be unsure as there are well over 5 million and 36 other papers in this house. That too is fodder for another day. (Wow, I might actually have enough material for a blog!)

So amid the potential habitats for about 629 forest animals, I am looking for ONE paper! Even I know this is a lost cause...



POSTNOTE: I literally fell asleep typing this the other night. (Thank the Lord for automatic draft save!) The next day I asked the suspect child if she did in fact have my paper. "Yes, you wrote our email on it, don't you remember?"

"Oh, you wanted Daddy's email? Did you send him a message?"

"No, I wanted OUR email...and you already asked me that yesterday."

"Whatever. Where's my paper?"

"Still on the desk where I told you it would be."

"Can you please get it and put it by my bed?"

"Yes Momma, as soon as I'm done."

Great! Now she's a habitual liar...I have yet to get "THE" paper back!