Patience is a virtue...

It's been awhile since I've been called a tease..heh, heh, heh, but I realize telling everyone to come check out the blog and then not write for several days was not the nicest thing to do.

It was not, however, intentional. And as a matter of clarification guys; as long as we are talking about it, there are girls out there who don't "intend" to be a tease. Y'all need to just get it through your heads that smiling and saying hello is not an invitation. It's just a pleasant facial expression and a common greeting. But that's all in a galaxy far far away from my current life...

So here's the deal. I was going to write last night. (I enjoy getting comfy and toasty in bed and writing on my netbook.) Unfortunately, the days events did not a comfy ending make.

First of all, it was Wednesday. That meant that Lyra had a soccer game and Charlie had a t-ball game. I thought I was in for a calm evening as Lyra skipped her soccer game due to a "sprained" ankle. She really did hurt it two weeks ago, and I foolishly allowed her to continue playing on it. Truth be told, I allowed her to stand out on the soccer field and compare headbands and ponytails with her friend until the ball rolled by them and into the goal twice. But, in the course of the game, when they separated the two of them she actually did some running around. (This would be the game where the assistant coach feels the need to yell at a bunch of 7 year olds who aren't playing up to professional capacity. See Post Titled "Random Thoughts...from the week so far")

So Charlie played T-ball which I have come to realize means Tackle Ball to most 5 year old boys. The ball would get hit and 10 of the 12 kids on the team (2 are girls) would end up in a pile on the infield fighting over who was going to make the play. Charlie seems to be the ring leader in most of the pile ups which makes a mother proud. So the game ends after two innings because it takes an hour to play two innings and Charlie falls to pieces. He simply didn't want the game to end. He comes to me screaming and crying and I tell him he better go back out there for the "good game" ritual or he's not going to get his snack. No luck, so I pick him up to take him to the car only then noticing that his feet are literally two bricks of mud. Leave it to my child to find the one mud pit in the outfield while he was playing pitcher.

You know where this is going...I pick him up to take him to the car and he starts kicking me in the shins with his nasty cleats leaving bruises under the glops of mud that are now sliming down my legs. We get to the car and I buckle him in only to realize that the girls have my keys. They are at the complete other end of the park...literally 4 baseball fields away. I buckle Charlie into his car seat, still screaming, and go to get the keys. I get 3/4 of the way there and Lyra is coming towards me. I yell "Do you have my keys?" She stops "No, Tali does." Okay, she is 20 feet from Tali and I am twice that far. "Run over to Tali, get the keys and bring them to me." Her answer? "NO!" This was not a good moment for her to test her independance. I honestly think the look in my eyes scared her more than anything. I went balistic. It was a lovely site for the neighborhood to see. I thanked God that the fields I was passing were now flipped and only the outfielders could really hear what was going on.

She made the smart decision to get the keys and bring them to me, then she ran ahead to play on the playground until I caught up. I'm in the car first and tell her to get in and she decides to slide down the parallel poles one more time out of defience...and she falls. I knew it hurt, but frankly, I didn't care. "GET IN THE CAR!" Keep in mind that during all this, Charlie is still crying. I realized that Josie has since appeared in the car. That girl is stealth, it's uncanny. I drive back to the other end where Tali is and tell her she needs to come home. She does her 327th eye roll of the day...again not a good moment to test her mother. "GET IN THE CAR!" She sauters over to the car and says "Did you get my jacket and soda?" "No" "Well it was right there." "Well, it doesn't fit me, not mine, not picking up after you!" Wait for it...wait for it...there it is, 328th eye roll of the day! We pull up to where the jacket is sitting and I open the side door. She sits there for a second and says, "Am I getting out to get it?" Deep breath Mary..."Yes, yes you are."

At this point it crosses my mind how difficult it will be to drive when my head begins to spin and I spew green vomit all over the windshield.

Sawyer had left the game early with a friend and was home waiting for us. The friend said Sawyer was in a great mood and she left. Within 3 minutes there was Sawyer on the floor of the kitchen in complete meltdown mode. Charlie and Lyra were still crying and Tali who suddenly is a walking hormonal factory, bursts into tears because everyone is making so much noise. Josie, surprisingly enough, was the only one not crying and for that I was grateful. Oh wait, she just realized she had homework that she forgot about.

It doesn't get much better than that folks, 5 out of 5 crying! And crying hard! Just another happy evening in the Carlton home. Really? Does this ever happen to anyone else? Someone told me today that they like my blog because it makes thier life seem so calm in comparason. So glad I can be of service!

Somehow, by the grace of God, we get through showers and some semblance of a meal. I was downstairs trying to make heads or tails out of a bunch of Special Needs jargon to be ready for a big meeting with Sawyer's school on Friday. (They want to kick him out of Special Ed, yet he was just diagnosed with autism. A post for another day. But if you want to feel overwhelmed, google "autism." There's just a wee bit of information out there...NOT)

so I'm on the computer praying that they will just fall asleep. I really don't want to go up there unless I have to. Lyra, Charlie, and Sawyer are in my bed watching TV and it occurs to me that I don't need no Super Nanny, I need Vic Mackey to quel the territorial gang wars raging in my bedroom. (Vic Mackey - "The Sheild" If you don't know, put it on your Netflix cue starting w/ Season 1. It will NOT disappoint!!!)

Earlier in the day, I had washed my extra set of sheets for the third time. The first and second times were Saturday and Tuesday. I was so proud of moving them to the dryer now that they were certainly CLEAN! I had big plans of re-making the bed so I could wash the sheets that had poptart crumbs and goldfish ground into them. If successful in changing the sheets, I may actaully be able to start folding the 5 loads of clean laundry that had been patiently waiting at the foot of my bed for several days.

If I got the clothes folded, maybe I could put them away. And if I did that, I could crawl into bed with a clear conscience and type on my blog. I might even stay up to play on FaceBook. However, it was not meant to be...When I came up Sawyer was still awake (damn afternoon nap). He must've been saving his energy. He started screaming that he didn't want Lyra in the bed and I don't remember what else. I no sooner get him to sleep and Lyra wakes up. She falls apart b/c she was trying to stay awake to watch a movie and she "can never stay awake to watch anything." Telling her that when I was young "The Sound of Music" came on once a year and if you fell asleep there was no DVR-ing it or pulling it off the shelf in the playroom did nothing to calm her. Apparently, falling asleep during the made-for-TV Disney Movie "Good Boy" can be a life altering failure for an eight year old. How glad am I not to have her rough life?!?!

She falls back asleep around 11:30. I think of the netbook on the floor next to me...maybe. Who am I kidding? Screw that! I'm going to sleep! (Good thing too b/c Baby Charlie was up at 3:30)

So, dear reader, I was not neglecting you. However hard to believe, I promise that I was not sitting back and feeling giddy that you may be checking the blog only to find I had not written again. Have faith, my friend. If I am not writing, it's because life is so psychotic that I can't make it to the computer. But see, for you, this is a good thing...because there most certainly will be a story to follow!